Love

No matter what you do, do it with love.

Love has always played quite an important role in my life, as it should in anybody’s. Hence the tattoo. At this point I can’t hold myself back, I need to quote Harry Potter.

Do not pity the dead, Harry, pity the living. Above all, pity those who live without love. – Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

You can’t quite say it any better than him, I guess.

Many fear love because of its power. I, on the other hand, am compelled by its thrill. There is no greater force than love, even if that sounds a little bit cliché. It has always been a great part of my life, no matter if it was the love for my family or the people in my life.  –  As there is a downside with amlost anything, there is one here as well. It can hurt. Really badly at that as well. Especially when you’re young and inexperienced you think evertime you hit a bump like getting your heart broken from your first boyfriend, you think automatically: “This is it. I will never recover from this. How could I ever?”. That’s because you don’t know how. As time heals almost all wounds, it takes time. Time to recuperate, to shake off the dirt, get up and carry on. For me, it took me a couple of years to finally be able to move on, to be able to see, that there is more to a teenage love drama than getting your heart broken once and being scarred for life. A moment like this, your first ever boyfriend breaking up with you for the first time, it tears you apart and your mind makes sure that you will never forget. Still, after making it through all of this, one has to know, that the more it hurts, the more you can learn from it. See the relationship and the people in it in a more unbiased way. I now know, that back then I was way to obsessed with him. I wanted to have a relationship just like in a movie, but that’s not real – I know that now. I know also, that he was a complete d*ck. An egomaniac and, well, just not ready, perhaps. I wanted too much. Too much all at once. I made mistakes and so did he. But in the end, all this means nothing. The only thing that’s left is you and your decision what to make of it.

Option 1: Turn on men and hate them to have the power to destroy you like that. Although you gave them that opportunity by relentlessly falling in love with them.

Option 2: You’re scarred for life and scared that anyone else could do that to you ever again. So you decide never to love ever again because a pain that big isn’t something you wish to experience ever again.

Option 3: You hurt. You cry. But you try to find a way to cope with it. And most of all: you don’t hold a grudge. You appreciate the fact that you learned something from it. You learned, that a relationship like that, at an age like that (I was about 14?) is not made to last. It is made to force you to grow up, toughen up and prepare yourself for what’s really waiting there outside.

At an age of 14 you don’t even know what love is, up until now, 6 years later I don’t know exactly what love is. The only thing I know and I am most certain of is, that I love love. I love loving someone. I love being loved. I love the feeling that makes you all happy and giggly when you realize, that you’re next to a person you adore so much and that’s all you need. My kind of love has now evolved as I grew up. I now know (or at least I think I know), what I expect from my partner, what I cherish, and what I can tolerate.

It is all a process and this is just the beginning.